From Sinner to Winner: A Tax Collector's Playbook

Dear reader,                 

As I sit here reflecting on my life's journey, I'm struck by the profound changes I've undergone. There was a time when I was deeply involved in activities that I now recognize as harmful - both to myself and others. I held a position of influence within an organization that I now understand was destructive. The power I once relished came at a terrible cost.

Last night, my sleep was disturbed by dreams - vivid reminders of a past I'm trying to leave behind. These memories are painful, but they serve as a stark reminder of how far I've come and how much further I still need to go.

The story of Jesus' crucifixion, as recounted in Luke 23:26-49, has taken on new meaning for me lately. The account of his suffering - first at the hands of men, then bearing the judgment of God - resonates in unexpected ways. I find myself drawing parallels between the darkness that fell over Golgotha and the darkness that once enveloped my own life.

But just as that darkness lifted, revealing a new dawn, I too have experienced a kind of resurrection. The forgiveness I've found, though undeserved, has been transformative. It's as if the weight of my past has been lifted, allowing me to see a new path forward.

I'm particularly moved by the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-8. Like him, I've been given a chance at a new life. Zacchaeus, once a chief tax collector who had gained wealth through dishonest means, encountered Jesus and was immediately transformed. He pledged to give half his possessions to the poor and to repay fourfold anyone he had cheated. His story gives me hope that radical change is possible, no matter one's past.

I'm committed now to using my experiences as a force for good. Where I once spread darkness, I want to bring light. Where I caused pain, I want to offer healing. It's a daunting task, and there are days when I wonder if true redemption is possible for someone with my history.

But then I remember the criminals crucified alongside Jesus - one mocking, one repentant. And I'm reminded that it's never too late for a change of heart. My past doesn't have to dictate my future.

As I move forward, I'm focusing on personal growth, seeking wisdom from those who have walked similar paths of transformation. I'm learning to replace old, destructive habits with new ones rooted in compassion and understanding.

There's still a long road ahead. Some days are harder than others. But I'm committed to this journey of change, hoping that my story might someday inspire others who are struggling to break free from their own darkness.

Today, I choose to focus on hope, on the possibility of redemption, and on the power of love to overcome even the deepest shadows of our past.

Until next time

Chaplain Mark