Metamorphosis for Dummies: When Trying Harder Just Isn't Cutting It

Do not be fashioned according to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind..." — Romans 12:2
"But we all with unveiled face, beholding and reflecting like a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, even as from the Lord Spirit." — 2 Corinthians 3:18

Dear reader,

I've been sitting here for an hour, just thinking about what real change means. Not the surface stuff I usually do - you know, when I try to fix everything by acting different or putting on a good face. But real, deep-down change.

Those verses about transformation hit different today. Usually, I'd just read past them, but something made me stop. Maybe because I'm tired of pretending. Tired of trying to force myself to be better through sheer willpower. It never lasts anyway.

It's funny - I was watching this nature documentary the other day about how caterpillars transform into butterflies. It's not just about growing wings or changing colors. The whole caterpillar literally dissolves inside the chrysalis before becoming something new. That's the kind of change I'm starting to realize I need. Not just better habits or a nicer attitude, but something that changes me at my core.

The word "metabolism" keeps floating around in my head. Like how my body doesn't just hold the food I eat - it breaks it down, absorbs it, becomes something new with it. Maybe that's what real spiritual change is supposed to be like. Not me trying to add Jesus to my life like an accessory, but letting His life actually become mine, changing me from the inside in ways I can't force or fake.

I'm tired of the mask. Tired of trying to change myself by myself. It's exhausting, and honestly? It never works for long. I want that metabolic kind of change - the kind that happens naturally because something real is working inside me.

Been thinking about my friend Sarah. Remember how she kept trying different makeup to fix her skin? Nothing worked until she changed what she was putting into her body. Months later, her skin was different because she was different on the inside. No quick fix, no surface solution. Just real change that happened naturally because something healthy was working inside her.

That's what I want. Not another self-improvement project. Not another round of trying harder. Something real. Something deep. Something that changes me because it's alive and working inside me, not because I'm forcing it.

Maybe that's what transformation really is. Not me trying to change myself, but letting a real life - His life - work its way through me until I'm different, like nutrients changing Sarah from the inside out.

I don't want to just look different. I want to BE different. And maybe for the first time, I'm starting to understand that real change isn't about what I do - it's about what I let happen inside me.

Tomorrow's going to come, and I'll probably forget half of this. But right now, this feels real. This feels true. And maybe that's enough for today.